When someone else is my problem, my problem is me.
I hate this saying, despise it really.
It forces me to look directly at my expectations of others.
If you're doing something, or have done something to upset me, then I am the one with the problem.
It means that I have placed unrealistic expectations on you and you my friend have not lived up to them.
I am left feeling hurt, disappointed and resentful.
I have choices.
I can sit in my shit or I can call someone, reach out, ask for help.
The phone can sometimes feel as though it weighs 10,000 lbs.
At times it may take all my strength just to pick it up, dial a number and ask someone for help.
When I finally do, the results are undeniably beneficial.
One phone call can change my whole perception.
With a few simple words the entire situation changes without anything really changing at all.
How easy it is to want to blame others, to wallow in self pity.
Taking responsibility for my part is usually the better option.
Am I ready?
At this moment I don't know...
What I do know in my heart, is that I can walk through anything.
The God I choose to believe in today will walk with me.
I choose to believe that my God loves me more than anything in the world.
If that's what I need, then he will give it to me.
So I will pray for acceptance and understanding.
I can't see the lesson that this current situation holds for me.
I know it's an opportunity for growth, because I am in pain.
We grow when we're in pain.
One day at a time.